Since the days of Jazzy Jeff and the Fresh Prince, I have been a fan of Big Willy.
Now because of "I Am Legend" I've seen Will Smith in the BEST movie of 2007/2008
What a star. Awesome. My fingers are still sore from the squeezing Jane gave them throughout the whole 141 minutes. Damn, I'm going to see it again.
Top Gadget: The Minature wireless webcam Will uses on his glasses. Nice.
If you want to see a great movie that will make you jump and think, this is it.
If you want a simply brilliant film without the fear, check out "American Gangster", Denziel Washington is one scary mother and Russell Crow is the most honest cop you'd ever wish to meet. When their paths cross, look out.
Top Gadget: A Microwave (Yum, popcorn)
Next is Golden Compass, hmm, going to be as good as the books? Fingers crossed.
Top Gadget: The Golden Compass!
HAPPY NEW YEAR!
Saturday, December 29, 2007
Saturday, October 13, 2007
My Hernia Is No More
There's always someone more worse off than you...
From the moment I arrived at the hospital, hungry, thirsty and a little bit scared, I wondered what I could do to entertain myself until I was called into theatre (no, not doing a show)
I was under the impression that I would be in and out within the morning. I had visualised a conveyor belt where I'd lie. It would take me and others through the rubber flaps where a teams of surgeons who operate using Keyhole techniques would sort me out, quick as a flash. Before I could say "Bobs my Uncle" I'd be out the other flaps and on my way home.
I really did think I would be back at work the same day. Well, what do I know? Nothing it seems.
Not even enough to bring something to pass the time. I'd left everything at home, not one gadget was about my person.
It said so in the leaflet "Bring Nothing of Value"
I imagined teams of cat burglars stripping the wards of valuables, so I took nowt.
Bugger.
All I had was GMTV on the telly and Victoria Beckham on the front cover of Hello magazine (June 2006) to keep me sain.
Time dawdled on, I visited the League of Friends, a bunch of biddies who make cups of tea for grieving relatives and sell chocolate digestives for 10p.
I'm not allowed to eat before my op, I really fancied a biscuit, and I have 37p in change.
After only 6 hours 47 minutes I am told there is a bed available on F Ward (I imagined Gordon Ramsey would be taking care of me). I got there without realising this would probably be the last time I would run up a flight of stairs for a couple of weeks.
It all went quite quickly after that, I was ushered in to my room by Sam (the only bed available was in this room, the only "private" room on the ward, maybe they'd heard about me and decided to segregate me) . Sam is a chatty Nurse from Kent, who was very busy but promised she would give me a guided tour in a minute, after the medicine run.
I sat down and fell asleep, I woke up sometime later (no watch) with a stiff neck and a furry tongue. I wondered why anyone would leave those lying around.
Then, they came for me, 3.35pm, I wasn't ready. I hadn't put on the special socks on, or the floral gown. I got changed quick, then the doors burst open and a team of orderlies plonked me on the bed and wheeled me down the Theatre. Ah, we chatted about all sorts of rubbish, down the corridors and through double doors, past racks of medical instruments and rubber gloves.
In the prep room I met once more Stephen, my Anaesthetist from Queggs, Blackburn. I greeted him with a jolly hello and he stuck a needle in my hand. I didn't have time to count, I was too busy being funny (I thought I was being funny) as I felt the cold rush of drugs go up my arm. The last thing I remember was the cold reaching my elbow, the next I was waking up in recovery, telling the same joke I went to sleep on. And still getting laughs (or they were laughing AT me, I'm not sure)
I couldn't feel much, but they didn't hang about so I guess I must have come around quite quick.
Or not, how would I know.
I floated through the corridors once more, back down the ward and into my room. A young boy came to see if I needed anything, I asked for a black coffee, one sugar and off he went, and was back immediately with a black coffee, one sugar. Speedy Gonzales has nothing on this cat.
I drink my coffee, I'm sure its probably very hot, but I wouldn't know. I may have had it in my hand for a minute or an hour.
I'm sat in the hospital bed feeling abit sorry for myself after having my hernia operation.
I tried to find something to do, I wanted a book, all I could find were tatty old paperbacks that had been read to death.
Non I wanted to read. All a little sad, and torn, grubby and covered in chocolate digestive crumbs.
So I lay in bed. I had no money for the TV/Radio/Internet jobbie, I just lay there. Hunched up in my electric folding bed.
My bit's are sore, tender and bruised and my bum is getting numb. It really hurts when I cough or sneeze, so I try to do neither.
The nurse Suzanne asked my how I felt, I said like someone had kicked me in the nuts. Quite seriously Suzanne assured me they wouldn't have done that.
There's a girl in the bed outside my little room, who's not very well at all. I can see her through the open door, it looks like her hair is falling out, she makes whimpering noises and sobs occasionally. I have no idea what's wrong with her, and to be honest, I didn't like to ask, she's very pale and sickly looking. I have a habit of saying the wrong things, so I don't.
A squeaking noise like worn rubber on a polished floor catches my ear. I can't quite see what's making the sound, but I guess someone is about to pass my door.
A Jamaican chap is being push along in a wheelchair down the ward, laughing, smiling and joking in his sing song patois with the other patients (who are mostly middle aged to elderly ladies), tucked up in their hospital beds. The effect is like a ray of sunshine as he leaves each person he meets with a smile or a grin etched on their face.
Including the girl.
He's about 65 years old, greying dreadlocks, eyes that shine like newly minted shillings and a leg that stands by itself.
It's twin was amputated just the other day, he seems not to care about such a trivial matter, he says something to me that makes me laugh too.
I'm not sure what he said, but even though it hurt when I laughed, I knew my pain would not stay forever.
Unlike his leg, that would never come back.
I stopped feeling sorry for myself, I made an effort to get out of bed and I come home to get on with work.
After a day and night in a place where sick people laugh and nurses are run ragged, doctors work long hours and surgeons perform miracles. I wanted to thank them for all they have done, not just for me, but for all who pass their way, without passing away.
And thank god I didn't have to stay there longer than I did. The Nurses, Orderlies, Doctors, Cleaners everyone do a wonderful job, but I was glad to get out. My lovely Jane came to my rescue, but some folk wont be leaving, at least not yet.
Me, I was just a day case, but some poors sods are stuck in there. Because they need to be there, they need fixing, mending, making better.
You can help them get better. You know those books you have lying around, the ones you've read and arn't sure what to do with them, the magazines and board games, packs of cards and suchlike. Give them to your nearest hospital.
Just remember to clean your hands before going in.
It might be you in there one day who needs something to read, and a biscuit.
From the moment I arrived at the hospital, hungry, thirsty and a little bit scared, I wondered what I could do to entertain myself until I was called into theatre (no, not doing a show)
I was under the impression that I would be in and out within the morning. I had visualised a conveyor belt where I'd lie. It would take me and others through the rubber flaps where a teams of surgeons who operate using Keyhole techniques would sort me out, quick as a flash. Before I could say "Bobs my Uncle" I'd be out the other flaps and on my way home.
I really did think I would be back at work the same day. Well, what do I know? Nothing it seems.
Not even enough to bring something to pass the time. I'd left everything at home, not one gadget was about my person.
It said so in the leaflet "Bring Nothing of Value"
I imagined teams of cat burglars stripping the wards of valuables, so I took nowt.
Bugger.
All I had was GMTV on the telly and Victoria Beckham on the front cover of Hello magazine (June 2006) to keep me sain.
Time dawdled on, I visited the League of Friends, a bunch of biddies who make cups of tea for grieving relatives and sell chocolate digestives for 10p.
I'm not allowed to eat before my op, I really fancied a biscuit, and I have 37p in change.
After only 6 hours 47 minutes I am told there is a bed available on F Ward (I imagined Gordon Ramsey would be taking care of me). I got there without realising this would probably be the last time I would run up a flight of stairs for a couple of weeks.
It all went quite quickly after that, I was ushered in to my room by Sam (the only bed available was in this room, the only "private" room on the ward, maybe they'd heard about me and decided to segregate me) . Sam is a chatty Nurse from Kent, who was very busy but promised she would give me a guided tour in a minute, after the medicine run.
I sat down and fell asleep, I woke up sometime later (no watch) with a stiff neck and a furry tongue. I wondered why anyone would leave those lying around.
Then, they came for me, 3.35pm, I wasn't ready. I hadn't put on the special socks on, or the floral gown. I got changed quick, then the doors burst open and a team of orderlies plonked me on the bed and wheeled me down the Theatre. Ah, we chatted about all sorts of rubbish, down the corridors and through double doors, past racks of medical instruments and rubber gloves.
In the prep room I met once more Stephen, my Anaesthetist from Queggs, Blackburn. I greeted him with a jolly hello and he stuck a needle in my hand. I didn't have time to count, I was too busy being funny (I thought I was being funny) as I felt the cold rush of drugs go up my arm. The last thing I remember was the cold reaching my elbow, the next I was waking up in recovery, telling the same joke I went to sleep on. And still getting laughs (or they were laughing AT me, I'm not sure)
I couldn't feel much, but they didn't hang about so I guess I must have come around quite quick.
Or not, how would I know.
I floated through the corridors once more, back down the ward and into my room. A young boy came to see if I needed anything, I asked for a black coffee, one sugar and off he went, and was back immediately with a black coffee, one sugar. Speedy Gonzales has nothing on this cat.
I drink my coffee, I'm sure its probably very hot, but I wouldn't know. I may have had it in my hand for a minute or an hour.
I'm sat in the hospital bed feeling abit sorry for myself after having my hernia operation.
I tried to find something to do, I wanted a book, all I could find were tatty old paperbacks that had been read to death.
Non I wanted to read. All a little sad, and torn, grubby and covered in chocolate digestive crumbs.
So I lay in bed. I had no money for the TV/Radio/Internet jobbie, I just lay there. Hunched up in my electric folding bed.
My bit's are sore, tender and bruised and my bum is getting numb. It really hurts when I cough or sneeze, so I try to do neither.
The nurse Suzanne asked my how I felt, I said like someone had kicked me in the nuts. Quite seriously Suzanne assured me they wouldn't have done that.
There's a girl in the bed outside my little room, who's not very well at all. I can see her through the open door, it looks like her hair is falling out, she makes whimpering noises and sobs occasionally. I have no idea what's wrong with her, and to be honest, I didn't like to ask, she's very pale and sickly looking. I have a habit of saying the wrong things, so I don't.
A squeaking noise like worn rubber on a polished floor catches my ear. I can't quite see what's making the sound, but I guess someone is about to pass my door.
A Jamaican chap is being push along in a wheelchair down the ward, laughing, smiling and joking in his sing song patois with the other patients (who are mostly middle aged to elderly ladies), tucked up in their hospital beds. The effect is like a ray of sunshine as he leaves each person he meets with a smile or a grin etched on their face.
Including the girl.
He's about 65 years old, greying dreadlocks, eyes that shine like newly minted shillings and a leg that stands by itself.
It's twin was amputated just the other day, he seems not to care about such a trivial matter, he says something to me that makes me laugh too.
I'm not sure what he said, but even though it hurt when I laughed, I knew my pain would not stay forever.
Unlike his leg, that would never come back.
I stopped feeling sorry for myself, I made an effort to get out of bed and I come home to get on with work.
After a day and night in a place where sick people laugh and nurses are run ragged, doctors work long hours and surgeons perform miracles. I wanted to thank them for all they have done, not just for me, but for all who pass their way, without passing away.
And thank god I didn't have to stay there longer than I did. The Nurses, Orderlies, Doctors, Cleaners everyone do a wonderful job, but I was glad to get out. My lovely Jane came to my rescue, but some folk wont be leaving, at least not yet.
Me, I was just a day case, but some poors sods are stuck in there. Because they need to be there, they need fixing, mending, making better.
You can help them get better. You know those books you have lying around, the ones you've read and arn't sure what to do with them, the magazines and board games, packs of cards and suchlike. Give them to your nearest hospital.
Just remember to clean your hands before going in.
It might be you in there one day who needs something to read, and a biscuit.
Monday, September 17, 2007
When did you last impress yourself?
Not when you thought you'd impressed someone else,
but when you last made an impression on the Most Important person on Earth?
That's You.
Come on. Think about it for a minute...
Don't worry if you're finding it hard to think of something.
We all forget to impress ourselves.
We spend our time trying to impress others though,
be it our Boss or Spouse, Parents or Friends.
Just now and again you should try impressing the person you love the most (I still mean you).
When you impress yourself, you surprise yourself. By doing something new, something you didnt think you could do or have never tried to do before.
Step out of your comfort zone and do something different, nay, spectacular.
You may find its something you have been missing all these years.
You know you want to.
Wanna tell me about it?
but when you last made an impression on the Most Important person on Earth?
That's You.
Come on. Think about it for a minute...
Don't worry if you're finding it hard to think of something.
We all forget to impress ourselves.
We spend our time trying to impress others though,
be it our Boss or Spouse, Parents or Friends.
Just now and again you should try impressing the person you love the most (I still mean you).
When you impress yourself, you surprise yourself. By doing something new, something you didnt think you could do or have never tried to do before.
Step out of your comfort zone and do something different, nay, spectacular.
You may find its something you have been missing all these years.
You know you want to.
Wanna tell me about it?
Saturday, July 28, 2007
Last night with rod Stewart & Billy Idol
Tonights show was amazing, I had some fantatic volunteers; and got to meet my pop idols.
Rod was nursing his broken ribs after being shagged by two ton tesse, she was on top (obviously)
Billy idol has the biggest cock known to man, I never thought they made chickens that big.
See. You soon.
Rod was nursing his broken ribs after being shagged by two ton tesse, she was on top (obviously)
Billy idol has the biggest cock known to man, I never thought they made chickens that big.
See. You soon.
Friday, July 27, 2007
Doc Strange on the hot beach
It doesn't seem fair really, my poster gets the chance to relax in the sun while we are suffering torrential rain all week!
Thursday, July 26, 2007
Back at Heathrow for another busy weekend
The police are very busy, stoping anyone who looks dodgy, or not.
I can't seem to get enough of Rhodes, I am on my way back again until Sunday.
Got a call while sorting out orders this afternoon. If you made an order today I'll make sure to add a little something to your package when I send it Monday.
Had to grab my bags and get going.
It took 3 hours to get here as there had been a jackknifed lorry on the M4 that made driving very slow. Slower for the lorry driver, hope he's ok.
Just checking in now, its remarkably quite, ill have to travel this time everytime!
See you soon Jane, Molly and Rosie
Love you xxx
I can't seem to get enough of Rhodes, I am on my way back again until Sunday.
Got a call while sorting out orders this afternoon. If you made an order today I'll make sure to add a little something to your package when I send it Monday.
Had to grab my bags and get going.
It took 3 hours to get here as there had been a jackknifed lorry on the M4 that made driving very slow. Slower for the lorry driver, hope he's ok.
Just checking in now, its remarkably quite, ill have to travel this time everytime!
See you soon Jane, Molly and Rosie
Love you xxx
Doc's DVD is going on sale soon.
No big surprise that I have been filming my shows, I have enough for half a decent dvds worth just going to film more this weekend and are what I can come up with.
Sunday, July 22, 2007
Look at the leg room...
And checkout my legs...
Olympic airlines (Airbus A-340) are the winner for the most leg room in economy class, so far. Michael Flatly would love it.
They were calling my name for the last call. I was busy with the customs guys checking out the contents of my bag. What they saw on the x-ray machine took their interest.
It was my hoard of Fenix flashlights, the P3DCE was the favorite and was passed around to the head man. The chap turned off the torch and handed it back to me after blinding himself and three of his collegues. Hilarious!
We are taking off, so the phone is going off.
Sent from my BlackBerry® wireless device
Olympic airlines (Airbus A-340) are the winner for the most leg room in economy class, so far. Michael Flatly would love it.
They were calling my name for the last call. I was busy with the customs guys checking out the contents of my bag. What they saw on the x-ray machine took their interest.
It was my hoard of Fenix flashlights, the P3DCE was the favorite and was passed around to the head man. The chap turned off the torch and handed it back to me after blinding himself and three of his collegues. Hilarious!
We are taking off, so the phone is going off.
Sent from my BlackBerry® wireless device
Back to Athens
Slightly delayed, but on the way.
Not much time before the connecting flight to Heathrow.
Daddy Is coming home girls.
hopefully, I'll be home in time to tuck you into bed.
Sent from my BlackBerry® wireless device
Not much time before the connecting flight to Heathrow.
Daddy Is coming home girls.
hopefully, I'll be home in time to tuck you into bed.
Sent from my BlackBerry® wireless device
On the road again
Two brilliant shows later I am on my way home. My voice needs a rest and I really could do with seeing my little girls.
At airport now.
Sent from my BlackBerry® wireless device
At airport now.
Sent from my BlackBerry® wireless device
Saturday, July 21, 2007
Yummy food
Just had the best Goat chops and Greek salad.
This place is called the 7 springs.
We are stuffed!
Just off to see the Collosus of Rhodes.
Sent from my BlackBerry® wireless device
This place is called the 7 springs.
We are stuffed!
Just off to see the Collosus of Rhodes.
Sent from my BlackBerry® wireless device
Aside from the DT's, I'm fine!
Great night last night, everyone is buzzing about the show.
Met some great folks, including Foxy from warrington. Someone who worked with some of the biggest names on the northern comedy circuit from way back. If you know Danny la Rue, you know foxy.
Sent from my BlackBerry® wireless device
Met some great folks, including Foxy from warrington. Someone who worked with some of the biggest names on the northern comedy circuit from way back. If you know Danny la Rue, you know foxy.
Sent from my BlackBerry® wireless device
Friday, July 20, 2007
The Bar 24 PA's
Right, I am offically pissed. That drunk to you yanks.
Tonights show was HOT. The temp I mean, phew, but what a great show.
Everyone is buzzing, including me. Can't wait till tomorrowa show, I just have tp get some sleep. Don't want to seem like a pussy, but I have been awake so long and had one to many Bacardi and cokes, its not funny.
The bar owner Vasilli is over the moon. Let's face it he's a top bloke' flying me out here with no idea what would happen. The people he has working for him, love him. For good reason, he see's them right.
If you come to Faliraki, visit bar 24, have a drink, eat a great meal and then have a splash in the pool (see next pic)
Do I go early to sleep or stick around for a few hours and miss the lovley sunshine tomorrow?
Oh, just found out about the free barbeque!
Bye for now
Sent from my BlackBerry® wireless device
Tonights show was HOT. The temp I mean, phew, but what a great show.
Everyone is buzzing, including me. Can't wait till tomorrowa show, I just have tp get some sleep. Don't want to seem like a pussy, but I have been awake so long and had one to many Bacardi and cokes, its not funny.
The bar owner Vasilli is over the moon. Let's face it he's a top bloke' flying me out here with no idea what would happen. The people he has working for him, love him. For good reason, he see's them right.
If you come to Faliraki, visit bar 24, have a drink, eat a great meal and then have a splash in the pool (see next pic)
Do I go early to sleep or stick around for a few hours and miss the lovley sunshine tomorrow?
Oh, just found out about the free barbeque!
Bye for now
Sent from my BlackBerry® wireless device
This is Vasilli
I am arrived in Rhodes and now I have 2 hours before my show. Phew, made it.
More soon..
Sent from my BlackBerry® wireless device
More soon..
Sent from my BlackBerry® wireless device
Most attractive airhostess?
See told me off for taking it. Worth it though.
Sorry Jane, I was only admiring her skills as a hostess. Honest.
Sent from my BlackBerry® wireless device
Sorry Jane, I was only admiring her skills as a hostess. Honest.
Sent from my BlackBerry® wireless device
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