Friday, November 11, 2005

Why Men Buy Gadgets

I am male and my theory goes like this:

"There are three stages of a males life,

The First stage (Early Years) is when he sees things he wants, like a Telescope for plotting the stars, or a Pool Table for playing Pool... He wants them, lusts after them, but is far too young to be able to afford them. So he hints to others to buy these things for him (Wishing he really didn't have to beg and plead).

Christmas and Birthdays were always a dissapointment, because no matter how greatful he is to receive a new jumper or pair of socks. All he wants is the unattainable.

So, he is and remains unsatisfied and slightly bitter.

The Second Stage of his life (The Middle Years) is when he is an Adult, he has money (hopefully) and deep down he hears the sound of the Small Boy he once was asking for all the things he couldn't have.

All those toys and gadgets that he wanted as a kid are now bigger, brighter, cleverer, more technical and aching to be owned by that little boy. And heck you do have that spare room, perfect for a Pool table.

The Man then acts as a Father figure (to himself as a boy) and buys these things, just because it's what the little kid would have wanted. Even though he doesn't need any of them!
He will Never admit this is true.

Women should understand this need. Girls, you can use it to your advantage. Treat the little boy and the Man will do anything for you.

What about the Third Stage? Well, I'm not there yet, but I have friends who are (Old People) who are surrounded by all this stuff they bought and can't remember what it's for.

They tell me that they probably shouldn't have bought all that pointless crap in the Second Stage. But it did seem to make them happy at the time, and now it's a collectable item and worth something and they are thinking about putting it on "Flog It" or maybe eBay. Then go on holiday with the proceeds.

What is the point, for gods sake?

If it makes you feel good, get it. It may seem like crap to other people, but they are not you. And when you are Old, you will have had your Fun and you will be able to sell it all at a Bootsale to some young bloke who is in his Second Stage (Or just give it to a Kid in his First Stage, and screw my Theory right up)

What makes you buy?